the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
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Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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