Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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