Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I love having hate sex.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
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she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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