Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize