dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize