help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
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