this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize