Non-Jews are for practice
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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