It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
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I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
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Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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