I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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