It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize