Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize