I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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