So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
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im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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