i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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