i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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