She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize