My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize