Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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