Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
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I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
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She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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