the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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