wakey wakey hands off snakey
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize