Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
even my farts smell like vagina
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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