called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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