that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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