i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
tell me about the fingering
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