Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize