"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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