god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize