he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
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3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
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to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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