Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
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I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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