I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize