people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
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i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
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Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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