update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
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You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
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Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
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