Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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