This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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