You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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