Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize