Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize