we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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