Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize