I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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