Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
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I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We had sex on a dog bed..
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We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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