No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize