well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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