Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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