I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize