Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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