is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize