i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
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You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
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When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
did you just send me my own nude
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So vagazzling was a success
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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